DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
