No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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