FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
