I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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