im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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