How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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