So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
