I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
