Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
