The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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