I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
