you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
