I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
