so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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