Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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