Christians are straight up FREAKS
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
