I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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