idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I have tasted many bathrooms
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
