I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
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she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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