My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
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Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
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I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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