Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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