Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
