Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
