Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We named our party play list daddy issues
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Are we still banned from the library?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
