Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
