going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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