look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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