Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
this hospital has no fireball
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
