i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
