I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
