this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?