if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Drake has all the answers
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
