I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"