We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?