We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
