She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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