My friends, they love my intelligence
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get me chipped asap
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize