i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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