I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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