some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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