Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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