just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
