That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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