Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
