I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
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tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
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I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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