Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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