Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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