yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
