Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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