The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
