We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
