I didn't shave. On purpose
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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