In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
