dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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