So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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