Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just sucked dick on a ferry
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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