Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I look better un-naked...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
