It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
3pm strippers are depressing
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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