also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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