You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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