holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
