Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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