is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
