dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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