she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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