I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
