Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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