Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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