I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
