you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
