why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
